This is so beautiful! I really appreciate you peeking under the hood at what graceful aging is all about, especially in a female body. It's about being real with what this mortality thing is all about, but also, being brave enough, crazy enough to live as if the fantasy that we're going to live forever is actually real. It's about walking a tightrope, staying focused on the present, and shooting for the stars with each new dream we swear we will manifest. It's about kinda caring about leaving a legacy and kinda not; about being perfectly fine with living a "small" life. I also look at younger people with something like envy, achieving what I will never do, not if I'm honest, but also being damn proud of how I have alchemized my scars and wounds into bonafide, enviable coolness. Thanks for this blog! Love it!
I'm 52. half a century is special but back then being 52 was a goal because the Maya believed a century has 52 years. and on that year the planets and all astrology would be exactly the same as on our birth. they believed we were given a 2nd chance to live our new century with the knowledge of the 1st one. I love the thought, maybe you will like it too. much love your way <3
Thank you for this, Susannah. I have been following you for several years and have taken a few courses with you that really helped me. As for envy, it can be inspirational and aspirational — consider that some folks, such as myself, may be just the teensiest bit envious of you! I have often thought that you are the business model I aspire to, if I were ever to get a business act together. As I approach my 55th birthday and continue to go through a really drawn-out process of unraveling and in-betweenness, I appreciate your words about midlife and expectations and redrawing life maps, so to speak. Kudos and many thanks. xo
Hi Sussanah! I felt the pang reading your words tonight...I just turned 39 this month. I (felt I) have a lot of work to do...or not? Give me some advice purr-lease.
My life unraveled at 15, was knit back together in my 20s, then unraveled again, unexpectedly when I was 53. Now in my mid-60s I’m comfortable in my nest, reading, writing, getting acquainted with the inner life I never before had time to explore. There’s a strength I never knew I had, a totally different kind of contentment and happiness than I experienced as a wife, mother, working woman. Your book, This I Know, came into my life a few years ago and was/is a wonderful gift in helping find myself. Many thanks, Susannah!
My 30s were hard - they started with infertility and ended with a big health issue and a pandemic. I turned 40 in December and already feel like this is going to be the best decade so far. I'm in my Transit Pluto square Pluto through October and I feel it truly is getting rid of that no longer needed. I love reading about future decades and those who are living their best lives in them. Excited for your Substack (I'm a longtime reader from your other newsletter.)
I am so happy and grateful you're here, sharing your heart in this way, on this platform. Your words always nestle their way into a little crack in my heart.. some lovingly, some achingly (in a good way).
At 52, I am far from living the life I expected to be. Solo after separation, childless by circumstance and finding the heart-led path harder at times than expected. And yet, each day I wake up genuinely grateful and excited for the day ahead. For the whispers and nudges that await and that will lead me towards new adventures and moments that matter.
I too decided to embrace grace in my 49th year when my long marriage unexpectedly ended. This alongside grit and gratitude, has been my constant companion ever since. I changed my name to Helen Grace MacGregor to honour the transition into my new life on the spring equinox this year and even though my current reality feels a little like quicksand under my feet as I tune into what's next, I can honestly say I wouldn't change a thing. Life feels sweeter, I feel stronger and my relationships are richer since I crossed the threshold of 50. I can tell that you're well equipped to thoroughly embrace the freeing, unapologetic sovereignty of this life stage!
All I can say is that I found 50s to be a weird decade. You're not young anymore but not quite that old yet, either. My body was/is changing and my mind had/has a hard time catching up. I'm on the cusp of my 60s and that feels like an even bigger transition somehow. I love your definition of envy being a "phenomenal gauge for figuring out where to steer your ship." That's so spot on! You've totally got this, I honestly think 50s will be an amazing decade for you ❤️
Thank you for writing this! I turned 62 this year and about 2 weeks ago I retired from my tech job of 22 years. It is so exciting! I have kids who have flown the nest and are forming their own families. I am blessed with a new partner of 5 years who is such a sweetheart. And I am excited for what is to come! My 50s had some great things that happened and the biggest heartbreak too. Increasing in age gives the blessing of wisdom. You see what is behind and learn from it. Embrace every second going forward because there is less time to fuss and worry over things like before. If I had one bit of advice it would be do all the things, love and cherish those close to you and don’t take a minute for granted…..time is precious. We only have this one life to live…..make it count.
Crossing the 50 threshold felt like quite a big deal to me. Turning 58 next month, I can definitely say my 50s have been more bumpy than I expected (in both good and challenging ways)!
Death and illness became virtually everyday news (especially after age 55 + I have mostly older friends). And while it took me a while to get used to that, I also think that my compassion and ability to let go + shift perspective (learning by example, from the lovely elders ahead of me) has grown, and is a great gift that I humbly accept/aspire to expand. I took the biggest risks of my life during my 50s - resulting in both the biggest moments of fulfillment *and* the biggest falls, as well. It's been a rich time for me!
What a great post. On my 30th I cried like a baby, I didn't want to let go of my 20s at all. It took me a long time to come to terms with it. Then along comes my 40th on a blink of a eye and I felt different, the saying "life begins at 40" excited me yet here I am at 45 and still waiting. I just feel more tired, lost, unsure of everything. I don't know what I will feel at 50 x
"I want my 50s to be defined by grace," is such an beautiful concept. I'm creeping on 59 and my 60s are closing in fast but reading your post is making the thought less foreboding. Thank you!
Oh I feel that in between! At nearly 38 I feel like I should still feel young... but I don’t. A child could still happen, but maybe not. I’m getting closer to middle age, seeing it in the mirror and feeling it in my body. My mom was 50 when she had to go on dialysis and I just hope that isn’t me too. 12 more years of freedom before being strapped to a machine and and dependent on a kidney donation and immunosuppressants isn’t enough. But I do look forward to my crone self. I think of who I’d like her to be and how I can start earning those skills now - so that when I’m old and wise and magnificent I can be just that.
All that to say that while we are in different generations, I can empathize with your feelings. Aging is inevitable if we are lucky and all we can ask for is grace.
Ha! I am reading this instead of working on my own blog post. I could have written this one. I turned 50 last month, and I can't seem to feel the ground underneath me. Everything around me is changing and I find myself looking outside for clarification too often. I avoid social media, because other people seem to have their act together. I think you are brave to live an authentic and alternative life. It's about time that we get to do what we want to do! I love what you are doing.
How can I listen to this? are all or just some of your posts in audio ? I just listened to one and now want to listen to more ;0
Hi Grace! Unfortunately I only have a handful of audio posts and most are for paid subscribers - I'm sorry! 😘
This is so beautiful! I really appreciate you peeking under the hood at what graceful aging is all about, especially in a female body. It's about being real with what this mortality thing is all about, but also, being brave enough, crazy enough to live as if the fantasy that we're going to live forever is actually real. It's about walking a tightrope, staying focused on the present, and shooting for the stars with each new dream we swear we will manifest. It's about kinda caring about leaving a legacy and kinda not; about being perfectly fine with living a "small" life. I also look at younger people with something like envy, achieving what I will never do, not if I'm honest, but also being damn proud of how I have alchemized my scars and wounds into bonafide, enviable coolness. Thanks for this blog! Love it!
"but also being damn proud of how I have alchemized my scars and wounds into bonafide, enviable coolness" -- YES!!!
I'm 52. half a century is special but back then being 52 was a goal because the Maya believed a century has 52 years. and on that year the planets and all astrology would be exactly the same as on our birth. they believed we were given a 2nd chance to live our new century with the knowledge of the 1st one. I love the thought, maybe you will like it too. much love your way <3
Thank you for this, Susannah. I have been following you for several years and have taken a few courses with you that really helped me. As for envy, it can be inspirational and aspirational — consider that some folks, such as myself, may be just the teensiest bit envious of you! I have often thought that you are the business model I aspire to, if I were ever to get a business act together. As I approach my 55th birthday and continue to go through a really drawn-out process of unraveling and in-betweenness, I appreciate your words about midlife and expectations and redrawing life maps, so to speak. Kudos and many thanks. xo
Hi Sussanah! I felt the pang reading your words tonight...I just turned 39 this month. I (felt I) have a lot of work to do...or not? Give me some advice purr-lease.
My life unraveled at 15, was knit back together in my 20s, then unraveled again, unexpectedly when I was 53. Now in my mid-60s I’m comfortable in my nest, reading, writing, getting acquainted with the inner life I never before had time to explore. There’s a strength I never knew I had, a totally different kind of contentment and happiness than I experienced as a wife, mother, working woman. Your book, This I Know, came into my life a few years ago and was/is a wonderful gift in helping find myself. Many thanks, Susannah!
My 30s were hard - they started with infertility and ended with a big health issue and a pandemic. I turned 40 in December and already feel like this is going to be the best decade so far. I'm in my Transit Pluto square Pluto through October and I feel it truly is getting rid of that no longer needed. I love reading about future decades and those who are living their best lives in them. Excited for your Substack (I'm a longtime reader from your other newsletter.)
I am so happy and grateful you're here, sharing your heart in this way, on this platform. Your words always nestle their way into a little crack in my heart.. some lovingly, some achingly (in a good way).
At 52, I am far from living the life I expected to be. Solo after separation, childless by circumstance and finding the heart-led path harder at times than expected. And yet, each day I wake up genuinely grateful and excited for the day ahead. For the whispers and nudges that await and that will lead me towards new adventures and moments that matter.
I too decided to embrace grace in my 49th year when my long marriage unexpectedly ended. This alongside grit and gratitude, has been my constant companion ever since. I changed my name to Helen Grace MacGregor to honour the transition into my new life on the spring equinox this year and even though my current reality feels a little like quicksand under my feet as I tune into what's next, I can honestly say I wouldn't change a thing. Life feels sweeter, I feel stronger and my relationships are richer since I crossed the threshold of 50. I can tell that you're well equipped to thoroughly embrace the freeing, unapologetic sovereignty of this life stage!
Thank you, honey, and gosh i LOVE that you changed your name! ❤️
Me too!! Helen Rebello served her part and it was time to lovingly wish her farewell! xx
All I can say is that I found 50s to be a weird decade. You're not young anymore but not quite that old yet, either. My body was/is changing and my mind had/has a hard time catching up. I'm on the cusp of my 60s and that feels like an even bigger transition somehow. I love your definition of envy being a "phenomenal gauge for figuring out where to steer your ship." That's so spot on! You've totally got this, I honestly think 50s will be an amazing decade for you ❤️
Thank you for writing this! I turned 62 this year and about 2 weeks ago I retired from my tech job of 22 years. It is so exciting! I have kids who have flown the nest and are forming their own families. I am blessed with a new partner of 5 years who is such a sweetheart. And I am excited for what is to come! My 50s had some great things that happened and the biggest heartbreak too. Increasing in age gives the blessing of wisdom. You see what is behind and learn from it. Embrace every second going forward because there is less time to fuss and worry over things like before. If I had one bit of advice it would be do all the things, love and cherish those close to you and don’t take a minute for granted…..time is precious. We only have this one life to live…..make it count.
Beautiful wise words, Jean, thank you ❤️
I love reading your long form words here, this is a very different and wonderful space xx
Crossing the 50 threshold felt like quite a big deal to me. Turning 58 next month, I can definitely say my 50s have been more bumpy than I expected (in both good and challenging ways)!
Death and illness became virtually everyday news (especially after age 55 + I have mostly older friends). And while it took me a while to get used to that, I also think that my compassion and ability to let go + shift perspective (learning by example, from the lovely elders ahead of me) has grown, and is a great gift that I humbly accept/aspire to expand. I took the biggest risks of my life during my 50s - resulting in both the biggest moments of fulfillment *and* the biggest falls, as well. It's been a rich time for me!
What a great post. On my 30th I cried like a baby, I didn't want to let go of my 20s at all. It took me a long time to come to terms with it. Then along comes my 40th on a blink of a eye and I felt different, the saying "life begins at 40" excited me yet here I am at 45 and still waiting. I just feel more tired, lost, unsure of everything. I don't know what I will feel at 50 x
"I want my 50s to be defined by grace," is such an beautiful concept. I'm creeping on 59 and my 60s are closing in fast but reading your post is making the thought less foreboding. Thank you!
Oh I feel that in between! At nearly 38 I feel like I should still feel young... but I don’t. A child could still happen, but maybe not. I’m getting closer to middle age, seeing it in the mirror and feeling it in my body. My mom was 50 when she had to go on dialysis and I just hope that isn’t me too. 12 more years of freedom before being strapped to a machine and and dependent on a kidney donation and immunosuppressants isn’t enough. But I do look forward to my crone self. I think of who I’d like her to be and how I can start earning those skills now - so that when I’m old and wise and magnificent I can be just that.
All that to say that while we are in different generations, I can empathize with your feelings. Aging is inevitable if we are lucky and all we can ask for is grace.
Ha! I am reading this instead of working on my own blog post. I could have written this one. I turned 50 last month, and I can't seem to feel the ground underneath me. Everything around me is changing and I find myself looking outside for clarification too often. I avoid social media, because other people seem to have their act together. I think you are brave to live an authentic and alternative life. It's about time that we get to do what we want to do! I love what you are doing.