Let's try that again, shall we?

But I'm not making any promises!

Thank you for all your lovely comments and replies to my last post. Honestly that was just a typical day for me and my spicy brain — I seem to always be feeling things that intensely, and where once I thought it was just hormones, I now understand it was never just that. What fun! 

Lately I’ve been pondering how to shape this space. I softly launched my paid subscriptions in the spring only to find, three months in, that podcasting didn’t feel right. I’d like to do the occasional audio, but promising them monthly was unrealistic.

One of my deadliest ADHD traits is impulsive promising. I get excited about something, promise the earth and then realise later it’s not something I can or should do. This has happened a few times in my biz and it’s been frustrating for everyone. Shorter intense projects like course creation suit my brain’s need for novelty but longer-term projects need freedom, variety and spaciousness built in (I now realise).

[Painting by the extraordinary Hilma af Klint at the Tate Modern, August 2023]

The Unraveled Heart

Did you notice the change? On a whim I’ve renamed this space The Unraveled Heart¹, as a nod to my first book, This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart. Unravelling² has been the theme of my work since I started blogging in 2006 and continues to describe what I do so perfectly. I’m on a never-ending quest to figure stuff out — myself, my past, my future, creativity, friendship, love, family, work, meaning, solitude, ageing, my brain! All the stuff that matters to me. And there is always another layer to explore, another stage to be experienced, another a-ha to be found.

Over the summer I’ve been creating and making as usual and noticed a softer current running underneath. A desire to share quietly and intentionally. To bring you into my process a bit more. In a recent survey I gave participants a list of topics to explore with me and asked them to pick their favourite. The top answer was “Creative Living”, something I’d added to the list on a whim (do you see a theme?). 

When the results came in I said out loud: but what IS creative living?

This is what I want to explore.

If I could clone myself 4,310 times I would make a zine by hand for each of you and fill it with scribblings and paper ephemera. That’s what I’m craving these days — all of you in my house for coffee and journaling. As that would be COMPLETELY overwhelming I will instead try to recreate that experience on Substack :-) 

So the non-plan, without any impulsive promising, is this: I want to feel free to write what I want when I’m inspired and eager to share it. I will occasionally put bits of my sharing behind a paywall so it’s just for paid subscribers — this will give me extra privacy to share more intimately when I feel called to do so. This was what I’d originally hoped for the podcast, but sharing in written (typed) words is easier and more intuitive than the spoken word, so I’m following my gut.

When the number of paying subscribers has reached a certain point I’d love to add in a few extra bits and bobs, but I am holding back from promising (it’s so harddddd) because I don’t want to disappoint anyone. For now paying subscribers³ will get more peeks inside my heart.

Okay! More very soon (!!) xo

1. Yes, I also ran a year-long membership called The Unravelled Heart in 2020 - little did we know it would support us through a pandemic!

2. I alternate between the UK and US spelling - it’s all the same ;-)

3. For now they are still on pause x